Captain's Log

stardate 270915

I thought about going outside today but then I got a tight panicky feeling in my stomach, which in fact I feel now as I write this. I have work to do, and yet, I sit here watching cats jump through hoops and analyzing the feelings in my stomach. I got upset on the phone, because I am needy and alone and I need a hug but he doesn't want to come over here. So what do I do? It is Sunday so the shops are closed. It looks beautiful outside but inside I hide.

Captain's Log

stardate 96357

I'm excited, and maybe happy? Excited about possibilities. Happy to talk to him. But is it healthy to dream of being together?